Just an Update

Been awhile since I last used this blog (February!)

Are blogs supposed to confessional, allowing a person to air their thoughts with a degree of anonymity? Or are they a way to shout to the world "hey, I'm here, I'm significant!" in the face of the knowledge that the world is rather big and to an extent, faceless.

Just a ramble to just get something down, being a taciturn sort of creature, I don't find it easy to share my thoughts and feelings no matter how anonymous I think I am. Which is ironic as I'm often told that I'm "articulate", and even "erudite", yet people confuse my ability to empty out a dictionary from the fact that I don't actually express myself all that well.

It's more frustrating for me when I try to write essays, or communicate within a conversation a point that has a fine line between one meaning or another, but that point tends to wriggle away before I can capture it and use it to make a salient, original, and even important idea, leaving me with a bare echo of what I really wanted to say. Sometimes this drops me into deep water and I end up digging very deep holes (yes, I'm aware that I'm mixing my metaphors, but what the hell, like split infinitives that's just pedantry).

I guess it doesn't help that when I have a conversation or friendly argument that I start off with outlining one point of view that I don't necessarily agree with before I actually get to the point that I want to make, and heaven knows that I go off on some tangents that on the face of it , is not that pertinent. Writing this as I am now, it comes to me that I tend to talk like an essay, including footnotes! I must either be a bore, or confuse the hell out of the people talking to me. Ah. Anyway, it becomes infuriating when trying to get to the point of my argument, that the other person jumps in and has a go before I even finish what I say. I could try to abbreviate my point, but I like to think that I'm a reasonable person and acknowledge the fact that there other pov's that have as much relevance as my own. I just wish I can keep hold of those fleeting thoughts that feel like genius, but being busy with another point they stay at the tip of my tongue, unutterable. Buggerit.